Live to Life

 When two ends meet, it is a circle. but what is it called when two ends want to meet but distant. I am surprised how all the branches of different studies are linked with life. Life, I just wanted to enjoy, with my happy after, not to suffer in silence when I want to touch my other end. So near, so close, but yet so far. Fear of losing is the strongest emotion. You can't sleep, eat, sit; just staring in the blank into the numbness of nothing. Eyes keep searching for horizon, but with every step, it drifts away, just like memories which suddenly hits you, making you laugh on those beauties and cry as you know you have lost few more days.  But suprisingly you walk down the lane, same thoughts running in your mind, but you end up creating new memories.  But at the end, you have remember that you are no one in this huge world. you will get support in your journey but at the end you are alone. As, you walk, you turn back and see what you have lost or will you see what you hav...

 Long time no see. I no longer fight for the reality, because I know it. Life gives lessons and exams. More you accept, know that more your foundation is clear.  Sometimes my own curiosity is my killer, why do I have to sniff around, why I have to read, solve every mystery? Psychology has been my passion, not the clinical ones, but behavioural.  Leaders say, accept but not expect. I tried to accept but it is tough in the moment. Repeating the pages, knowing the depth, was I even loved by anyone, friends and family. As I am writing today, I know the tightness I feel in my chest, questioning myself, am I worthy enough? Every time, I fought battles of my happiness and peace, why is life not easy. I want to be writer someday, but does every writer have to go in pain and suffering? Alone in this room, with lemon tea in one hand, tears rolling, I wonder, am I bad person? Am I the one for you, or you just accepted me as a good human? I don't drink because I need to be in the rea...

 Hello, Today I will be just penning down my random thoughts. Why I am the only one to feel the pain of ignoring?    Wh y it is always me? Don't I deserve the happiness of love, cared, given affection. I try to forget my scars but when actions repeat from person I love keeps repeating it, I bleed silently. Why me? I can't say any longer try me, God. I can't. I give up challenging.  All I wanted was time, money can't buy it. No one can give it you until you want it from person you want from. Complicated yet simple.  You intoxicate me, just like drugs. I just want you. It's you, I want. I want time from. Without you, I feel useless. You always thought, I might leave you, can you understand depth of my love for you. Call me crazy, but it is true. Ask me the pain when you don't reply to calls or messages, or call me back. Am I so worthless? Ask me the pain when you believe me, don't trust me. All my life I was back stabbed by so called friends, cheated, used by ...

Liebe This is just for you to know. I am in love, with you, madly. Some might find me crazy but time doesn't matter with you. I don't know if it is 20 seconds or 20 years, but I know, it is you. I try to understand if your door is locked. I will knock till my last breathe. Harsh... I know, but I can't let you go. Long back I started writing this for you, but could never compile it, my words could never express my feelings. This is the 100th time editing the same post, but I could never be happy to share my half emotions. I always going back to days, when we first met, our first hug, first kiss, your proposal, seeing your concern and care in your eyes. Facing our dark days together, holding on tight. Having our ups and down like heart beat. Laughing like silly kids, but loving each other like old couples. Funny isn't it. They say it it few months but I say it is 91 days. We met on 6th Aug, you know it was Friendship Day. We started as a friend, to become lover, and I am ...

 Life is funny, teaches us many things but on the cost of giving us permanent scars called insecurities. We may say we have let it go but deep inside we all know the truth. Life is tough when it teaches us lessons, challenge accepted but is it reality. I think not. We just accept the fate and carry on.  A small incident, word changes the equilibrium of brain. We become robot and work on command. Heart does want peace but how, no idea. Damage is done. Questions come; who am I, am I ever special, do I deserve happiness? Overthinking starts. Appetite dies, mood is lost, darkness engulfs you and you are lost in nothing-ness, a place everything starts and ends.  We get lost in hope to find ourselves, but do we. Not everyone is lucky like Taylor Swift. We mask ourselves but never the same. We go for self love but actually we are cutting off and living in our own dreams. Maybe it is tough, but once you hit your nothingness, I promise you will be the best for yourself. Be the goo...

 Hello. I am back.  Isn't it so strange that we all are victims. Some carry on to better a person and still be the victim and some turn to best worst to become the culprit for next victim. Isn't it a sense of revenge, we pass as the game of passing the parcel? We call out name in anger but we never look for after effects. Empathy is just a word in today's world. Do you know what it really mean? Why it is separate from sympathy? Having a clean heart and open mouth is a curse because you will be termed as fake person, a pretentious personality.  Screaming heart is the most quiet sound but painful as giving up your soul. Yet we wake up every morning to pretend we are fine, when tears roll down to pillow as if you want an end, but you don't give up for brighter and healthier tomorrow.   Life becomes tough because of soft yet toughest muscle of body, tongue. I still face its wrath but can't change to culprit but instead become victim of the self aware so called thoug...